Primitive beings..

So I get to be on holiday which is lush! I work hard when I'm at work, spend a lot of time traveling to and from work, I'm responsible and pay my way, and I also like to think I act in a good way to most of my fellow human beings. 

I come away to Spain and end up sitting on a balcony above the pool where I can look at everyone and I find myself pondering about what they all do. There are a lot of French, Dutch and a few Spanish folk here with a few English. 

As I look out, I can see a right mixture of people and start to think about who is a doctor, or a business person or nurses, self employed people or householders. I can see all the kids running around being busy and jumping in the pool. People are having fun and it feels a million miles away from their daily grind.

All this activity and loads of people but there is still division. All the people are divided up into their own little family groups, and all of them fight for their sunbeds and space as if they deserve it for some reason. They pay little attention to each other and it's not often that that we connect with our neighbour to share in life and what is going on with each other. Do we look after each other? Are we paying attention to each others struggles and successes? Do we do things that benefit the human race? Are we interested and kind to our fellow people around us? Or are we simply looking for those two weeks to get away from it all and get our well deserved holiday?

I recently spoke with my friends about when people say things like, "I deserve this holiday" or "I deserve this". I wasn't sure of the details why but it doesn't sit well with me. I don't think any of us deserve anything and as my friend pointed out, when we want something that we think we deserve, it's usually at the expense of someone else's cost. I hate that phrase.

I would like to think that in many years to come, the human race may have developed into an intelligent civilisation that could sit amongst other alien races (if there are such things.. Just go with me on this!) and stand upright as a civilised race and who looks after each other, their planet, their values, their outlook but I think we are gonna wipe ourselves before then. We think we are sooooo advanced and in some ways we are, and clever with it as well but let's face it, we might have developed amazing technology, surgery and inventions but we just can't stop killing ourselves. We elect leaders who are more driven by short term monetary gain than a longer, kinder outlook. We wage war, or rather our 'leaders' do and we send our brothers and sisters to do their dirty work. Motives can be selfish and this is the hidden agenda that drives our economies.

It's not all bad though. When someone or a group of people do something that is kind and caring, we notice. We connect with it and it resonates really powerfully with us. As individuals we feel connected to something bigger, whatever you may believe in. Can't we love each other and promote each other and look after our surroundings as the default setting? Surely it shouldn't be this hard?

Get back to it and ask those questions..

"Do it....." he said, "write a blog" he said.
"ok, ok..." was my reply - although I said it a bit more convincing than what you are imagining right now.

Now, I have tinkered with blogging but I should do more I keep telling myself.
"I'll ask questions" I thought, mainly because I don't have the confidence in myself at times (ok...a lot of the time) and I don't consider myself an expert at something enough to make me say "Step back all you so called know it alls and hear some revelations about Nursing that will make you stop and re-imagine your life and practice as you know it!!".

(note: This is not me preaching my Nursing Revelations to the crowds...)

Nah...that's not me.

In fact, I know that a lot of people think the same. They (you? me?) think that others have the answers, or at least are part of the debate, whereas you think that you aren't even invited to the whole shenanigans due to the fact that your view is just a view and it's the other people who are involved in the steering and shaping of Nursing because they have many people listening to them and that they can hold long, intricate conversations about multi-faceted issues raised in addressing the issues at hand.

You on the other hand (or really 'me' as my shaky, variable slightly (non) confident self tells me) have the qualification but aren't a real Nurse yet (despite the training, the experience, the registration, the daily grind of the job, the paperwork, oh the paperwork). One day, you're gonna get found out and exposed as a great pretender when it comes to understanding the theoretical side of Nursing and how it's related to the political leanings of modern day culture, the NHS and social care in general.
Just get on with the day to day care, keep your head down and do try to keep up with something...

But that's where we are wrong. We live in an age where 'Celebrity' is the norm, the goal for the lesser mortal to aspire to, so when we don't make it there, we discount ourselves from the race.
The only logical move is to not play the game by those rules.

Play the game yes, but use different rules and values. Use rules and values that make a lot more sense and are actually more useful than the rubbish we are told we should be measured by.

It's not about how loud we can shout or how confident our revelations are about a new way of doing things - although that's great. For the everyday, run-of-the-mill Nurse out here, it's about delivering good, solid professional care that really makes a difference in someone's life.

There is nothing run-of-the-mill about a Nurse doing something for someone when they are in need of help.
The Nurses community in which I live (not just locally but internationally, thanks to the joys of Twitter and other social media) is a great one with some great people and views so I hope I am joining in with those Nurses who are already singing up about their performance and care that they deliver.

So, it's worth shouting about that. That's when the grass roots revolution really takes shape.
We (I) may not know it all...actually to understand even some basic things would be a good place to start, but as we look into the basic things, it turns out to be anything less than basic so maybe it's not such a stupid place to start.

I've been a Nurse for over 17 years now so I do actually know something, and don't get me wrong - I have the paperwork to prove it, but fundamentally I think we can all derail ourselves from not speaking out because of our lack of confidence.

So ok...I'll write a blog and ask questions. Maybe my 'stupid questions' and observations may not turn out to be so stupid after all.

I find all my posts follow the same theme (mainly) so one shall shake it up a bit for you....and for me as well.

Time has slipped by....soz!

Hey!....so, I cant think how things have slipped by for so long!
I blame Dr WHO and his time travelling - it messed with me posting things. Honest.

Ok...so loads have happened so maybe the easiest thing is if I take some things one at a time - if you're interested!?

Firstly - I'm off night shift and working a deputy Nurse Manager post. Challenging but at least I see daylight!

(not me....just in case you were wondering)

Now doing this post has so many aspects to it but I find at times that I can feel manic at times when I find an aspect that 'floats my boat'. It usually involves people and how we go about building teams and inspiring the positive workplace. I read so many great books, see great programs on TV, chat with cool people about things, but the one thing that REALLY catches my eye on things......Passion.

When we do what we do with passion, it seems as if that thing becomes supercharged. For me, I focus on nursing or art or music or people investment. As a Nurse, I can get intimidated when I meet new people, especially if I don't know much about them or they are in a position of 'power' or 'influence'. But with Passion, I feel like I have a point about what I do...especially if I feel like I'm standing up for doing the right thing.

So my challenge lately is to see how I can capture the passion and the thoughts that I feel when I get 'caught' by something or feel like I'm manic at times. That mania can be in different places at different times and those times can lead me to have a real sense of clarity about things.

Capturing that clarity is the challenge. Do I use Video?...the written word, including this little blogaroonie.......art?...conversations?....Music?.....hmmmm.......

I guess this blog helps me to form these thoughts and get them out in a constructive way, and also it acts as a timeline for me to look back on and see my ramblings, so I hope you might like to read them as well, but if not thats OK - coz you'll never read this and never know!!
Anyway...here's to more random posts to come.
And pictures.
More random pictures.

Track & Field

So...after much time spent waiting, pondering, more pondering etc...I pluck up the something to take a move with the old keep fit/athletics/running/track & field stuff.
I chat with the head coach of the local Athletics club and put myself up for not only some training/coaching, but for competition as well!
I have always shyed away from competition - mainly because I am messing on or just seeking a laugh, so this is serious stuff for me. Its a confidence booster and it helps me set a goal as well as getting out there.

I wouldn't call it a mid life crisis (hate that term..) but rather just building on what I do/have done anyway with the running side of stuff. It's just that its serious now.

Pentathlon, javelin, track running...can't wait! And it motivates me to sort myself out, not only physically but with my confidence, fitness, goals, motivation, lifestyle etc..

And it's just one thing more to blog about. Not that anyone is interested, or that i'll promise to do anymore 'blogs'....still.

My take on 'Basic Care'

OK...so i suggested a topic for discussion on the NURCHAT twitter chat (every 2 weeks on a Tuesday) about 'Basic Care' in nursing, so I thought it only fair to say why I suggested it.
As always, any views are my own (now there's a disclaimer if i ever heard one!!) but it is a very emotive subject I think...
I was on my way back from a conference on 'wound care' in the South Glos region, and was listening to a show on the radio all about health care and the 'state of nursing' in the UK. Actually, i think it should have been called "Lets slag off Nurses because they do Sod all for people".
The 'presenter' was saying that the general public (including herself, with first hand experience of it) had seen nurses give some medicines out, Ignored the patients requests for help and then gone back to the nurses station to discuss their 'Facebook & social life', until it was time for the next lot of blood pressures & obs.

Yeah....right...coz Nurses have sod all to do when they are at work. Sure, you Idiot (that's the last time I ever tune into "you & yours" on Radio4).

I work Night shifts, and as any of you with any experience of them know, realise that it becomes a skeleton staff at night. We don't have the luxury of office support, people to answer phones, kitchen staff, extra care staff, management, domestic staff, maintenance staff etc...on a night time, I do all those roles.
I also do my 'nursing' things as well as my 'carer' things.
And that is what bugs me.
Not the fact that I have to help out with the 'carer' things, but rather that people (and colleagues) seem to differentiate between the two.

I do my nurse things and get on with it, but when i do carer things like change pads, empty catheters, feed someone, wash someone, wipe bums, roll people, wipe bums, make beds wipe bums and wipe more bums, I seem to get a look that views me with surprise or that i am an alien for doing them.

(wrong kind of 'Bum'.....idiot)

I think in all honesty, it comes from a culture that some nurses and carers have made a differentiation between the two roles, but actually this so called 'basic care' is so extremely important in nursing.

When i wipe a bum on shift, It's never just that easy. It becomes an interaction, an assessment and helps me put into context a care package for that person. Some carers are so busy rushing to the next thing on their list that they don't see the full picture - it really is just a case of doing a pad change and then moving on. And to some degree, that's fine as they do have a billion things to do so they get on with it. But Nurses don't have that excuse.

But for me as a nurse on night duty, I get the advantage of some 'up close and personal care' with that person and can spend some valuable time assessing things without even the person knowing that i am assessing them. Sometimes it's not even something related to a care plan or bit of paperwork (which we love as nurses), but rather it's a chance to get some insight into that persons life and upbringing, which you can relate to where they are at now and how it affects their overall perspective on it all. It's such a complicated process that it's SO hard to even explain the interaction and how it fits. I try to use my people skills, some of which I have had to learn when being at the sharp edge of youth work on the streets of wherever, or the times spent with kids or elderly folk, to try to read into situations and connect with that person so that they feel able to open up to me. Sometimes with all this (limited) experience, the only major factor missing is 'time'.

'Basic care' for me as a nurse, is a gateway.
It is the shop window that allows me to see deeper into a persons care experience, and allows me to make some guided decisions and choices that suit and agree with that person. And as a nurse, I have the unique position of being empowered - which means that after an interaction I can put measures or plan care in such a way that it actually affects things in a positive way!
'Basic care' isn't just the remit of care assistants, it's a nurse thing and I hope that we don't drown too much in paperwork or assessments, to miss the interaction with that person in a real and dignified way.

Don't get me wrong, Nursing is hard and wiping bums is truly NOT rock & roll, but being a nurse is rewarding and can give opportunity for that nurse to 'do the right thing' in a given situation in life.
I have a good advantage on night duty, coz i do get get to do 'basic care', but i would challenge the term 'basic care' because that makes out that it's simple.

And it's not.

The old Poo & wee story.

Ok...strange title but its a strange subject.
As you probably have gathered, I am a nurse. A nurse who (at this point in life) tends to work multiple 12hr night shifts.
On shift, i tend to have a lot of different tasks to get through like medicine rounds, dressings, paperwork, stocking up, checking supplies in, pad rounds and other bits & bobs to go with it all.
We tend to also do 2 hrly rounds in the place that i work - mainly to check that people are OK or to turn them if they need to be turned in bed (to make sure they don't get sore etc..). We also do pad rounds.
Now...when i say 'we' i mean 'we' as in myself and the Care assistant/s who is on duty that night.
And when i say 'pad round' I mean that we change (elderly) peoples pads which they wear if they are incontinent of faeces or Urine (poo & wee to you).

No....wrong kind of poo.  Idiot.


What got me thinking and pondering, is WHY is having a wee or poo SO important to us as human beings?!
I know it's a strange question, but its really a massive factor that is possibly more obvious when you work with elderly people. You see, it feels at times that some folk spend their night worrying and planning out when they NEED a wee, CAN they have a wee, will someone be there to HELP get them on a bed pan/toilet/commode, will their pad be dry or not etc...

Its such a massive issue and incorporates loads of different things such as the embarrassment of getting a stranger to help them with a really intimate task and their 'private parts', the persons struggle to sometimes come to terms with their independence and needing help from people, and their own comfort etc...I start to understand it.

But I appreciate its a big issue and not one I can do it justice in my little blog post, and I still feel that I'm left with a sense that toileting, bladder and bowel issues are something that are deep rooted in the human makeup and can really drive us and frustrate us at times - especially when you have to rely on others to help you with something that you have spent the majority of your life just getting to grips with - lets face it, some times you spend your first 5 or so years learning how to deal with it!

In my job (I mean my workplace - sorry to use the word 'job' in this post) its a funny issue because its sometimes a bit of an unspoken one but it actually is a major player of growing old.

Wee and poo are usually the stuff of jokes and humorous tales, so its a challenge to deal with them as part of caring for people. I only hope I keep my sense of humour as i grow old but still carry on caring with dignity for people who need it. This is basic care, and not one that is (or should be) left up to the care assistant to do - not that carer do a bad job but its not just them who have to get their hands dirty. To really be a good nurse actually means that we have to get in there and do the tasks that some people make out to be beneath them.

In the meantime, i'll do my bit for dealing with the shit of life...and also poo & wee.

(male) Nurse...

Yes...it is me. It was taken on a break so don't worry..I didn't waste my precious time on such frivolities such as 'Moustachio Documentation'.

But so what?? When I am at work, although there are many things going on on many different levels there is always the opportunity to have a laugh.
It's always appropriate to the situation mind you...I don't laugh at things which are obviously important, or embarrassing to the person I am looking after so it HAS to be professional and in line with my Nursing code of conduct. That said...it doesn't half cheer some folks up and i don't just mean patients but staff also.

If we live in a world where there is no joy or soul to what we do, then we may as well give up, and do it with our heads up our own backsides.

I know my stuff as a nurse. I spent 3 (hard) years just to get my PIN to work as a registered nurse. I did another year doing 'on the job' competencies so I could work solo (also so i was eligible to work the night shift) . And then i did another course over about another year so i was working with an official recognized qualification for Anaesthetics and Recovery nursing. I worked long shifts, and most of them were on the edge of my seat as it was pretty intense. Thankfully, I had good support and people around me.

Talk about a steep learning curve though!

On top of that (and here's an important part of it all) i worked in youth and community settings, music and art, small teams, Church, i was an 'auxiliary nurse' (the old style 'care assistant') and i moved around a lot.

So i ain't just in it for a laugh. And the skills i learnt in how to talk to people played a massive part. I noticed it most when i worked with elderly clients and children - especially in theatre, when it was the most stressful for the person and sometimes their parents & carers.
And to top it off...i had to work with Doctors - who are a different breed most of the time!

Some stuff I can get proof of learning and its application. Taking bloods, Male catheterisation, setting up pumps and infusions, giving IV meds etc...etc...

But some stuff I can't show it off so easily. You could say I just do it. How do you approach an elderly person who has dementia and is about to hit you? There are some skills that you just know how to do it, and it's all very individual to me, as it would be to you. Add on top of that the fact that as a nurse you have a stack of paperwork to complete, dressings, medicine rounds, supervision etc...to do and you gotta have it all sorted out by 10.30am so you can start the next medicine round again!

I was told recently that I "was like Jesus. I was just there in the shadows ready to pop up when I was needed" and this very fact made this elderly person feel comforted.

Was i really waiting in the shadows? Did I really do things drastically different to my colleagues to warrant this comparison?

No...I think i just gave a shit.
I think I just cared to do my job, and to do it sensitively.
And i think i just did it without rushing to get to the next thing.
I have stacks of stuff to do as a nurse, but when you make space for someone, I think they notice it. Sometimes they notice and are able to communicate their relief and gratitude, and they become vulnerable and this facilitates a good place to communicate real issues.
Other times, the person knows that they have someone who is opening up for them and they offload to you. Sometimes it's just their frustrations at many things that come out, but other times its just a bitter, rude person mouthing off at you.
Nice...not.

Anyway, don't be put off by my drivel and random thoughts - posts like this are just as healthy for me to say, as they are for you to read and groan.

I'm a nurse.
Yes...a male nurse, but a nurse.
You can tell from my outstanding moustache - made from a glove box lid, lots of love, grooming and strategically placed sticky tape. Say what you want, but it did get a smile and hopefully a little bit of happiness in a long run of night shifts.

I'm all for positive workplaces and facial hair.